In decades of providing estate planning services around the country, and through our industry research, we have identified the questions people typically ask about estate planning. I hate the phrase “frequently asked questions”. So I’m going to focus on the “top” questions that people ask. Many of my answers to these questions include important nuances that you probably won’t hear from anyone else.
What is “Estate Planning”?
The underlying question here is “what is an estate”? Your estate is everything that belongs to you. This includes not only financial assets such as your real and personal property, but also your intentions, you ideas, your body, and your relationships. “Estate Planning” is a matter of mapping out what is going to happen to your estate over time.
What Time?
- Although some tend to think that estate planning is about what happens at death, such a perspective is both incomplete and inaccurate. A comprehensive estate plan will deal with all applicable times including while you are living, when you retire, as you experience age related decline, when you die, and long after you are no longer here. Although you can’t determine or control what will happen or what people will do when you are gone, you can make plans that outlive you and that improve the outcome for your loved ones whatever may happen in the future.
What Part of your Estate?
- Likewise, planning only for what happens with your financial assets at death fails to address your complete estate. Our byline is “Integrated Estate Planning,” which includes your entire estate over all applicable times. So planning for (and protecting) your finances, investments, retirement, taxes, health and fitness, long term medical care, family relationships, intellectual property, business succession, personal history, insurance, digital life, end-of-life, charitable wishes, governance, values, and so forth, are all sub-sets of a complete integrated estate plan. As a result, effective estate planning is multi-disciplinary and typically requires the professional services of multiple advisors.
Why is Estate Planning Important?
First and foremost, your estate will be planned. The only question is who is going to do the planning. If you don’t have a plan for your estate, other people have their own plans. This includes, in order of priority, tax collectors, politicians, creditors, lawyers, and family members - especially the dysfunctional ones who will do the most damage. Second, deferring or avoiding planning your estate increases the cost to you and your family, and radically increases the probability that your estate will be destroyed, your wishes ignored, and your loved ones harmed in the process. Finally, when you plan for your entire estate over all applicable times, your estate can become a great blessing to those who survive you and the costs of administering your estate, both financial and human, will be greatly reduced.
What Happens If I Die Without a Will or Estate Plan?
Other people’s plans for your estate will determine what happens to it. All the negative outcomes that would be best to avoid become more likely: taxes, probate, litigation, family fights, and wealth destroying self-destructive abuse.
What Documents Are Essential in Estate Planning?
When estate planning is a function of the “documents” and not the people, it ends up failing to address what matters most. At the same time, there are some “essential” documents that, with rare exceptions, everyone over the age of 18 should have. This includes: a Will, Financial Powers of Attorney, Medical Power of Attorney, Mental Health Care Power, and Living Will. In addition, it is crucial to designate beneficiaries on retirement plans, annuities, insurance policies and so forth. Depending on the size and nature of your complete estate, the family dynamic, and other risk factors, other documents may also be “essential” such as trusts, business entities, deeds and conveyances, ownership records, appropriate accounting and tax reporting, and a memorialization of your wishes.
Do I Need a Will, a Trust, or Both?
Most of the time, the answer is going to be “yes.” A Will is always important, even with a Trust and even with beneficiary designations on financial assets. Although there are exceptions with very small trouble free estates, one or more Trusts are the documents in which you spell out the “plan” for your estate.
How Do I Choose an Executor or Trustee?
The related question is “who” should I chose? The available options include family members, certain professional advisors, professional fiduciaries, and institutional fiduciaries such as banks and trust companies. There is no “one-size-fits-all” answer to who you should choose. “How” you make the best choice is in consultation with an experienced and independent professional advisor such as an attorney. The wrong persons to consult with on this question are those who would benefit by being chosen.
How Can I Minimize Estate Taxes?
A complete answer to this question is beyond the scope of the article. It is sufficient to say that estate taxes are optional, and are paid primarily by those who either fail to plan or who have planned poorly, or who don’t care about OK paying the tax. A well designed and fully “integrated” estate plan can eliminate all estate taxes, even with the very largest of estates.
What Assets Should Be Included in My Estate Plan?
You only need to brush the teeth you want to keep. You only need to plan for the assets and people that matter.
Can I Update My Estate Plan?
Yes, and you should. This is particularly important to do after a big life event such as the purchase of a new home or business, marriage, divorce, children and/or grandchildren being born, and more.
How Often Should I Review It?
You should personally review your plan at least annually and anytime there is a big change in your life. You should have your plan reviewed professionally roughly every five years or, again, whenever there is a big change in your life or in the law. Some of the “essential” documents have a limited shelf life and their utility declines or becomes obsolete with age.
What's the Difference Between a Living Will and a Healthcare Power of Attorney?
Generally, a Living Will deals with end-of-law issues such as comfort care, pain management, and whether or not to buy you a little extra time with heroic measures. A medical or health care power of attorney primarily operates while you are continue to live, but are unable for whatever reason to communicate your own wishes concerning your medical care. You need both.
How Can I Protect My Assets for Future Generations?
The short answer to this question is to NOT do what most people do. Most so-called estate planning results in the destruction of the wealth (and often the family) within three generations. There are families that have created long lasting high performance human and financial “dynasties”. They have done things differently than the crowd. The full answer to “how” this is done is beyond the scope of this article. Such long term planning is a niche that some but not all advisors are equipped to give guidance on. For more on this topic, you may wish to obtain our free white paper “How To Leave Your Estate To Your Children Without Ruining Them.”
Should I Consider Creating a Trust for My Children?
Yes, you should consider a Trust. Likewise, you should explore the different kinds of Trusts and the various features they may or may not have. Trusts vary in what they do and how they do it similar to the differences in car models. All cars are cars. But each car model will have different performance specs for a crash, a long road trip, everyday commuting, efficiency, repairs, costs of operation, and durability. If you want the most protection and the longest utility, a simple trust will not do. If you only want or need a single use throw away trust, a more expensive multi-generational trust won’t be a good fit. Suitability matters.
What Happens to My Digital Assets after I Die?
What happens depends on how well and how completely you have planned your estate. If you do nothing about your digital assets, someone other than you will make the decisions.
Can I Change Beneficiaries on Life Insurance Policies and Retirement Accounts?
Yes you can. Knowing when you should and who best to name is another question. Life insurance policies and Retirements accounts in general will have different beneficiaries.
Should I Consider Gifting Assets While I’m Alive?
Yes, you should consider this. Whether or not it is a good idea or will benefit you and your family is another question. Generally, the larger the estate, the more likely it will be that making gifts is beneficial. The more significant questions are: how can I make gifts without giving up control? How can I make gifts without triggering dependency, entitlement, and destroying incentives to be a useful human? There are good answers to these questions. How gifts are made often determines whether or not they should be made.
What Role Does a Lawyer Play in Estate Planning?
With rare exceptions (mostly very small and drama free estates), planning your estate without an attorney is like repairing a modern car on your own with only a tooth brush and a pocket knife for tools. An attorney will bring vital tools, know-how, and experience to the process. At the same time, an attorney is typically not the only advisor you need. Because “integrated” estate planning is multi-disciplinary, you will be better off with good advisors for accounting, investments, insurance, health care, banking, and on and on.
How Do I Plan for Incapacity or Disability?
The biggest hurdle to such planning is the false illusion that you are exempt from age related decline. It is going to happen. Deal with it. This aspect of estate planning applies while you are living! The point of the “essential” documents is to designate and authorize people you want and trust to make decisions on your behalf when life gets to the point where you are unable to make such decisions on your own. Just telling such people your wishes isn’t enough. You must also give them legal authority to act on your behalf.
Can I Disinherit Someone in My Will?
Yes. Whether you should or not is a different question. Whether a Will or a Trust is the best device for this is also a question that warrants consulting with an attorney. Even then, how best to do it is yet another level of discussion that should be thought through with qualified counsel.
What’s the Best Way to Pass on a Family Business or a Specific Property?
The “best” way depends on the business, the property and the family. Even the concept of “pass on” has many variations, some of which work better than others. Is “passing on” enough, or are preserving, protecting, and tax efficiency also essential considerations? This is yet another question that is best addressed with qualified legal counsel that can give you guidance beyond a Will or Trust on the tax, business, risk management, and governance issues elements of your complete estate plan.
Should I Involve My Family in the Estate Planning Process?
This is like asking whether or not we should talk to our family about sex. Clearly, there are some things that are just none of their business and should remain private. But that does not mean we never discuss the topic. There are conversations about both money and sex that should happen on an age appropriate and capacity appropriate basis that will save family members from a lot of heartache and poor life decisions. Saying nothing and saying the wrong thing are both harmful. The challenge is knowing when it is best to talk and what to talk about. To unpack this, I suggest you request our free white paper “How To Leave Your Estate to Your Children Without Ruining Them.”
The answers I have given in this context are necessarily general. Your specific situation warrants getting specific advice. I strongly encourage you to consult with qualified advisors who can guide you and provide tools to work through all of these issues. Learn more from the videos and articles in the Durfee Law Group. You can also email us at info@DurfeeLawGroup.com, or call us at 480.324.8000 for a complimentary consultation or any of the white papers referenced in this article.
Top Estate Planning Questions © 2025 by Rick Durfee is licensed under CC BY 4.0 
Top Estate Planning Questions